Your Shell xxx – Poem by a Survivor

“Dragon Tears will be my pen name as there’s nothing worse than seeing a dragon cry.”

Safe Space RunnerDragon Tears

Your Shell xxx is a poem by Dragon Tears, a survivor of sexual abuse. It is raw, powerful and affecting. It is important and, in its way, uplifting. Dragon Tears writes of  issues most of us [please God] never have to face; a thoughtful insight into the darkness of human behaviour and evil.

Connection

A few years ago I became involved, as resident author and a judge, with the Safe Space Writeathon. The project patron was Iain Banks, and I had the privilege of being on a writers panel with him when the Writeathon was launched.

As resident author, I met a group of survivors who found healing through writing. One day four of us went out for a coffee—that’s another story.

Later, I compered the awards presentation and read some work out for people who wanted to be heard, but couldn’t face an audience. One of these writers was Dragon Tears. The other day Dragon Tears contacted me. Suddenly I was in a coffee scented café learning about: darkness, pain, rawness, compassion, healing, courage, love, mutual support, truth …. Sharing this, I’m moved, as deep or maybe deeper than before.

Yet, despite all the pain and cruelty, there is survival, growing strength, self-acceptance and recovery as a person walks into the light warming the end of the tunnel. The healing goes on.

Mariana Sing gave me the picture for use with Angels’ Cut. I find it apt for this blog. Journeys into darkness aren’t just confined to fiction.

Keep Breathing

Your Shell xxx

Hey You !!!!!!
Yes You …
You cannot hide from me,
I can feel you—almost see you
Here inside me
Where you have huddled timelessly,
Crying, Scared, Ashamed,
Repulsed by what you have seen.
Destroyed by fear and the inability to protect those you loved…
Needing to protect yourself so as to claim justice…
“A worthless little whore, incapable of love.”
How wrong they were.

Be not afraid I will not hurt you,
I am the shell that surrounds you,
The “adult” you whisper to when you feel vulnerable and afraid…
I have tried to keep you safe,
To mother you, comfort you…
All the things that were yours to expect but that you were deprived of…

A mother too scared to speak,
Whose anger and frustration turned on you …
A father too mighty to think he would be discovered, uncovered.
He and His pervert brother and numerous Single male friends…
The significance of this now understood.

The beautiful cats you loved so much,
Who absorbed your tears, that made you smile,
Euthanised because your sister teased them and they retaliated…

Well my gorgeous inner child I am here now…
Stronger than I have ever been—on the surface anyway…
Karma is calling…

I Love You

Your Shell xxx

by Dragon Tears
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