It came into my bathtub
A bathtub is a safe place … isn’t it? Does your autopilot kick in-in the morning? Mine does, until my shower is over, things just happen.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself…and spiders. F*** spiders! Anon
Recently, my autopilot quit early, just like that? There I was, rumbling through my routine and kapow!
Ever heard a grown man scream?
A morning visitor sneaked into my bathtub, unannounced and huge. In fact the biggest spider I’ve seen in the UK.
Imagine, you reach round the curtain, turn on the shower, put your foot in the bathtub, and something scurries over your toes.
What would you do? I actually grunted my surprise. My knee nearly hit my jaw as my foot jerked away. Next, I wobbled on one leg and, hopping backwards, almost sat on the sink.
Whadda f*** was that?
With my tootsies now safe, I studied the beast. How beautiful. Hairy? Yes. Scary? Yes, I didn’t really want to cuddle it.
My first thought after getting clear? Save it. It may sound daft, and that’s what I did.
I put the bath mat over the bath and gently nudged it forward with a toothbrush handle. Once on the material, it shot halfway up — its speed of movement, stunning.
I picked up the bath-mat and gently shook it off. It darted under the sink, vanishing back into its twilight world where, I assume, it eats ten times its weight in annoying flies and such, getting bigger all the time.
Can anyone tell me (someone told me a while back, but I’ve forgotten:
- what sort of spider it is, and,
- if they bite
It’s big, you say?
Consider this bathtub picture? The nozzle is approximately 6.5 – 7.0 cm across.
Okay, it’s no tarantula, but it’s big enough for me.
Now, on the other hand, if I was on a camping trip …
Would I scream? Undoubtedly. Would I feel silly? Not at the time.
Whatever the provocation, please remember, a spider’s worth saving. Who cares if arachnids have millions of eyes, hairy legs and make your skin crawl.
Save yourself a spider
Apart from being fantastic predators, they tend to go about minding their own business.
In fact, they want to escape from our presence quick as they can.
Thus, even though I hid through half of the screening of Arachnophobia.
The moral of this tale is clear: be kind to arachnids …
At least as long as they’re not hiding down a loo you’re using in Australia.
© Mac Logan